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Keepsake Toss
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Symbolism and tradition have long been a part of the wedding ceremony. The wedding march, the act of giving away the bride, the bouquet toss, and many other aspects of the modern wedding originated out of historical necessity or symbolism. Compared to these other long standing traditions, the history of the unity candle is rather short and mostly unknown.
Most sources agree that the unity candle ceremony is a relatively new addition to the wedding ceremony and may have become a part of weddings sometime in the seventies. While this may be true, candles and fire have played a significant part in wedding ceremonies in various cultures all over the world. In ancient Greece, both the bride and the groom would arrive at the wedding location holding torches, once inside the temple, the bride and groom would join their flames. In early Norse Christianity, the bride and groom used two smaller candles to light one alter candle. Both of these ceremonies contain elements of the modern unity candle ceremony, and despite the muddled history, the lighting of the unity candle has become a popular part of modern weddings.
Today, the unity candle ceremony is performed during the wedding to symbolize the joining of two lives. The ceremony involves three parts: an explanation of the symbolism and importance of the ceremony, the presentation and lighting of two candles, and the lighting of the center candle by the bride and groom. Many weddings now include other family members into the unity candle lighting ceremony. Usually, the mother of the bride and groom will light two taper candles at the beginning of the wedding ceremony, and then later during their vows, the bride and groom will light the center candle to symbolize the two separate families becoming one.
Unity candles can be found at almost any wedding store or online retailer which sells wedding and bridal supplies. Because the ceremony has become so popular a range of candle styles are available to suit any wedding theme or style. Many unity candles and or unity candle holders can be adorned or engraved with the wedding date and the names of the bride and groom, making the candle a nice keepsake for the couples new home once the wedding is over.
Barbara Dimoush is the owner of Package Perfect which carries everything from unity candles and holders to wedding favors and everything in between to make your special day a day you'll always remember.
Scattering Cremated Remains Of Loved Ones
You may envision going out to a beautiful spot and scattering your loved ones remains. While this can be a beautiful, ceremonial and a very healing way of returning a loved one to nature, it can also be a disaster. The following guidelines, will make the experience a positive one and make the final wish of your loved one, "I just want my ashes to be scattered" to come true.
To begin, often the word "ashes" is used to describe cremated remains. The media portrays it as light ash. The reality is the remains are bone fragments that have been mechanically reduced. They normally don't gently flow into the air. It is more like heavy sand That being said there is some dust or ash that can blow in the wind, so when scattering cremated remains make sure to check the wind so they don't blow back in people's faces or onto a boat.
You will also want to consider the legal requirements to scatter remains. In no state is it legal to scatter remains on private property without permission from the property owner. Many parks also have rules and permit requirements so you will want to check into the requirements.
If you do plan on scattering the remains, many people are choosing to keep some of the remains in a keepsake container or mini urn. Some people feel they still want a part of the person and sharing the cremated remains is a way to still have a part of the person with you. Keep in mind, you will want to make sure the partial remains are in a sealed plastic bag inside the keepsake or mini urn. A funeral director can handle this for you. Many products are also available such as diamonds that are made out of the remains, jewelry that is designed to hold the remains or hand blown glass paper weights.
Techniques for Scattering
Casting
Casting is a way of scattering where the remains are tossed into the wind. As I mentioned previously, you will want to check the direction of the wind and cast the remains downwind. Most of the remains will fall to the ground and some of the lighter particles will blow in the wind forming a whitish-grey cloud.
One person in the group may cast the remains or scatter some and hand the container to the next person so everyone has a chance to ceremonially cast the remains. Another option is people are given paper cups or casting cups and they cast simultaneously in a sort of toasting gesture.
Trenching
Trenching is digging a hole or trench in the ground or sand and the remains are placed into the trench. The remains can be placed directly into the trench or placed in a biodegradable bag or urn. At the end of the ceremony survivors often rake over the trench. A deceased name can be drawn in the dirt or sand- perhaps inside of a heart. The remains could also be placed inside this name and heart. You may consider taking a photo of this for a memory book. If done at the beach, it can be timed that the tide comes in and ceremoniously washes it out to sea. Family and friends may want to join hands and form a circle. If not too windy, candles may also form a circle around the site. The candles are then given to each person as a keepsake.
Raking
Raking involves pouring the cremated remains from an urn evenly on loose soil and then raking them into the ground at the conclusion of the ceremony. It is important to keep the urn close to the ground when pouring out the remains due to wind. Survivors may wish to take turns raking the remains back into the earth. If you choose to do this at a scattering garden at a cemetery this is how they will perform the scattering.
Green Burial
This is done either at a "Green Cemetery" or at a traditional cemetery. Often cemeteries will allow you to place a biodegradable bag or biodegradable urn on top of a gravesite or a family member as long as it is buried. Obviously, you will want to check with the cemetery and see what their requirements are.
Water Scattering
Water scattering involves placing the remains into a body of water. A biodegradable bag or urn is recommended. This is most often when cremated remains can blow back into a person's face or get washed up onto the side of the boat. Both experiences can be traumatic and not the everlasting peaceful memory you envisioned. If you search on the internet or in the phone book you can find people that have boats and are experienced. There are urns on the market designed to gently float away and then quickly biodegrade into the water. Many people throw rose petals or flowers into the water after the urn. If the remains are in a biodegradable bag they may sink so you also may wish to throw a wreath of flowers into the water and watch the wreath drift away.
Air Scattering
Air scattering is best performed by professional pilots and air services. The airplanes are specially designed to handle the cremated remains. Some professionals will arrange for family and friends to be on the ground watching as the plane flies over and a plume of remains can be seen from the ground. If survivors are not present, the service will provide the specific time and date of the aerial scattering. Often it can be arranged that close family and friends fly along.
While scattering cremated remains can be emotionally very difficult, hopefully by knowing your options and being informed it will make a difficult time a little easier.
About the Author
Read about repotting orchids and butterfly orchid at the Types Of Orchids website.
Bridal gown storage - am I doing it right?
I had my gown dry-cleaned already. I also have a big wooden chest (like a hope chest) where I plan to store it in (as it is tradition where I am from). I purchased acid-free tissue/wrapping paper. I plan to gently wrap the gown with the tissue (no tape, no glue) and put it in the wooden chest, along with other bridal paraphernalia I used (pillows, veil, etc). However, I don't think my chest is made from the natural insect-repelling material. Should I put moth balls in the chest along with the gown? If yes, do I just toss the balls in there or put them in a cloth pouch? Will the moth balls stain the dress throughout the years? Will it make the gown unbearably stinky? Also, if anyone has some added suggestions on how I should do it better, let me know. My goal is to preserve the gown as much as I can so I can keep it as a treasured keepsake. Thanks!
Follow these easy instructions to pack and store your wedding gown in an acid-free box, just like museums store their priceless textiles and costumes!
Step 1
Purchase an acid-free box and acid-free tissue from an archival supply company. Consult a local museum for recommendations, or purchase something like the SafeKeep Quilt and Garment Kit from Light Impressions. A kit will usually come with enough tissue for packing the wedding gown. If not, purchase at least 20 sheets of acid-free tissue.
Step 2
Line the box with tissue. Depending on the length of the wedding gown, you may have to fold it several times. Calculate how many times you will have to fold it so that in the end, the front of the dress will be facing up.
Step 3
For a dress without a train, begin by placing the hemline of the dress face down at the far end of the box. Lay the skirt face down until you reach the other end of the box. You will only need to fold it once, approximately at the waist. A long train will require multiple folds for it to come out correctly. Place one sheet of tissue between each layer so that any decorations such as beading or sequins to not come into direct contact with another area of the wedding gown.
Step 4
Take one or two pieces of tissue and make a long, tubelike shape to soften and pad the area(s) where the dress will be folded. Repeat this step as you lay the dress into the box, being sure that no part of the dress will be sharply folded in a crease. Sharp folds can create weakened fibers over time, and can eventually result in a spot that will be more likely to rip or tear.
Step 5
Once the bodice is laid on top, use the acid-free tissue to pad out various areas of the wedding gown, including the chest, sleeves, and collar. Be generous with the amount of tissue!
Step 6
Place a layer of acid-free tissue over the top. Lay the veil on top of the tissue. Veils are fragile and should not be stored underneath the dress, to minimize stress on the tulle.
Step 7
Close the box. You may want to label the outside of the box with your name, and any details about your wedding, including the date, the location, etc.
Step 8
You may want to purchase additional acid-free boxes of various sizes to store your shoes, headpiece, floral arrangement, and other momentos. Polypropylene bags can also be purchased in a variety of sizes to safely store jewelry. These bags look like ziploc bags, but are made of inert materials that will not degrade over time.
Step 9
The general rule of thumb for storing textiles is to keep them where you are comfortable. You should avoid extreme heat or cold, as well as exposure to moisture. A good place is under the bed in a guest room.
Step 10
Keep the memory of your wedding alive by regularly viewing your dress! There is no need to keep it packed away forever in a box. Enjoy it! I try to put mine on at least once a year, around our anniversary.
Make your at-home camp educational and exciting
Our home camper models are Natalie Cohen (front), Barrett Light (back left), Sam Cohen (in tent) and Tiffany Becker. (Photo illustration by John L. White/P-D)
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